


Lone wolf

by Silent Monbebe (SilentDarkness)



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Brotherly Love, Friendship, Gen, Insecurity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-29 09:40:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19017304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilentDarkness/pseuds/Silent%20Monbebe
Summary: Three little words Changkyun isn't worthy of. He may never be, but that's okay. It could be worse. It has been worse before.





	Lone wolf

**Author's Note:**

> This is set a few months after their debut, back when they lived in the old dorm.  
> I really like the dynamic between Minhyuk and our maknae. I'm sorry it's so short (and probably full of mistakes) I'm still practicing.  
> Hope you'll like it ♥

The first time Minhyuk said it, Changkyun froze on the spot, unable to breathe for a moment. He must’ve misheard him. He couldn’t meant anyone else though as they were currently alone in the room they shared with Kihyun and Jooheon. It had been a mystery to Changkyun why Minhyuk wanted to share a room with him in the first place but he hadn’t said anything and just accepted it. He had to sleep somewhere hadn’t he?  
„What did you just say?“, Changkyun asked with a lump in his throat and a slightly hoarse voice, causing Minhyuk to look up from his smartphone.  
„I love you.“, he repeated with a wide smile that lightened up the whole room. It seemed so sincere and Changkyun wished he could believe that it was real. But he knew he wasn’t worthy of these words. Not yet, maybe never.  
They accepted him after he was shoved in, midway through No Mercy, and he would even go as far as saying that they genuinely liked him now, but love was a whole other level.  
Minutes went by without any of them saying something. Changkyun had so many words in his head but he was afraid he would sound pathetic if he spoke them out loudly. Or worse, anger Minhyuk somehow. So kept his mouth shut and avoided looking at his friend and fellow member.  
„You could tell me you love me back. That’s what people normally do. At least out of politeness.“, Minhyuk suddenly said, his voice on the edge of teasing. When Changkyun looked up he noticed that the older male was now looking at him directly.  
„I’m sorry... I... ah...“, but he couldn’t bring himself to say it, because he knew it would be a lie. Not because he didn’t love Minhyuk, because he really did. He loved all of his brothers more than anything. He just never really felt it was his place to do or tell them so. 

Minhyuk raised a brow and his expression turned concerned. „What’s up maknae?“, he asked softly and slid off his bed to get onto Changkyun’s. He had always been a very tactile person. The concept of personal space was completely foreign to him and sometimes it could be a bit too much. But he also provided so much brightness and comfort if needed, so they gladly put up with his almost smothering cuddles.  
„Nothing.“, Changkyun tried to lie but Minhyuk just shook his head and lightly punched him against his shoulder.  
„Don’t try this on me Changkyun-ah! You know I can smell bullshit from a mile away.“ –  
„And? Everyone can, that’s nothing special. It reeks.“, Changkyun replied dryly and earned himself another punch.  
„Kkukkungie... come on! What’s bothering you? We’re roomates now, so promise nothing will leave these walls.“, Minhyuk tried again, using the petname Hoseok gave Changkyun a while ago.  
The younger looked into Minhyuk’s bright eyes and sighed softly. How the hell should he explain that he still felt like an outsider sometimes? That he thought he didn’t deserve to be loved and was more than happy that they accepted him after all. That it was just to much and he couldn’t handle it, because to be honest, no one besides his parents ever told him that they loved him.  
Minhyuk grabbed his hand and softly held it in his, which were surprisingly big.  
„I don’t know what you want to hear... it’s nothing really. Just let it go and get your ass out of my bed. I wanna sleep, we have schedule tomorrow.“, he tried again to get out of Minhyuk’s grasp, but the older wouldn’t have it.  
„Lim Changkyun, you’re acting weird since we got here and before you tell me what’s bothering you, no I won’t get my hot ass out of your bed.“, he stated firmly. „Don’t you trust me?“, he sounded hurt even though he tried to hide it behind a smile. So Changkyun rushed to shook his head. „No! No, that’s not it! I trust you. It’s just... what you’ve said... the... that you love me.“, okay now it was out and the youngest shrunk together, wanted to disappear completely.  
Minhyuk looked confused and surprised for a moment. „Umm... it’s not... like that. In case you’re worried I would kiss you awake in the future or someting.“, Minhyuk laughed a little and Changkyun blushed. Oh how badly he wanted to hit the older man in the face with the pillow beside him.  
„Idiot. And even if... you could clearly do better than me.“, he said, knewing full well how popular Minhyuk was among their fans. During No Mercy he had been part of the Visual Team and rightfully so.  
„What are you talking about? I would totally make out with you!“, and with that he turned to Changkyun and got way too close. The eyes of the younger widened and he tried to pull back until Minhyuk laughed and let him go.  
„You look like a deer in the headlights. Gosh, you’re so cute maknae.“, he told the youngest. „Fuck off.“, was the creative reply from a mad blushing Changkyun.  
„So... why were you bothered by me saying that I love you, if you didn’t misunderstood it?“, Minhyuk asked again and obviously he didn’t seem to have a clue.  
„Because you shouldn’t say it to me okay?“, Changkyun ripped his hand out of Minhyuk’s and got up from the bed, walking through the room and avoiding to face his bandmember at all costs.  
„Why? You tell the people who are important to you and you are important to me.“, Fuck, it hurt hearing Minhyuk say this and Changkyun didn’t know how to deal with this pain.  
„I... listen I’m glad everything turned out okay und you guys stopped...hating me. But... you don’t have to pretend that... I know I’m not on the same level with you okay? I know. So don’t treat me like you do the others.“, the youngest spat out, the words leaving him feeling drained and empty. Silence was the answer. 

Suddenly something soft hit the back of his head. Surprised and shocked Changkyun turned around, just to be enveloped by Minhyuk’s arms holding him in an deathgrip.  
„Never say something like that again. We never hated you. You are our little brother and we fucking love you.“, Minhyuk told him, while he pressed the younger tight against himself.  
„It’s all in the past. We’re a family now and you’re a part of it, if you want or not. If I say that I love you, it’s because I mean it, I feel it every day I see your stupid smile and hear your bad jokes. If I cuddle you it’s not for camera, it’s because I want to be close to my brother. I wanted to be your roomate because I like that you ground me when I’m too up in my own head and I know that I can brighten you up if you need it, because that’s what brothers do. Damn Changkyun-ie... you’re making me cry for real here.“, he half laughed, half sniffled against the youngest’s neck.  
Changkyun couldn’t say anything, he just held onto his bandmember... brother. He finally felt somewhat as if he was allowed enjoy the warmth he was providing.  
„The others love you too. I know it. They would kill everyone who hurts you. In fact Hoseok hyung was about to murder some of those who critizised you online. They should be glad they are sitting safely behind their keyboards or else he would have put his muscles to good use. Kihyun always makes sure you’re eating well, even when we’ve had a stressful day. That’s love, stupid. The little things.“, Minhyuk said softly, leaving a gentle, tingly kiss against Changkyun’s neck, before he let him go.  
„You kissed me!“, Changkyun protested, a dumbfound expression on his face.  
„That’s all you got to say?“, Minhyuk picked up the pillow, with which he had smacked Changkyun, off the floor and tried to hit him again, but the youngest used his quickness to duck.  
„Yep! I knew you wanted me!“, Changkyun answered with a teasing grin and had to escape another attempt to be murdered by a pokemon pillow.  
They chased each other through the whole room until Shownu yelled from the other side of the wall that they should go to sleep or he would make them. An empty threat, because Shownu was pretty much the calmest, most gentle person on earth, but they still followed his command, because they knew how much everyone needed their sleep. They would get three or four hours at best, so it was stupid to waste time.  
„Sleep tight, Changkyun-ie.“, Minhyuk said and turned off the lights. The youngest just yawned as an answer and was already half off to dreamland.  
For the first time he felt a bit lighter. The burden on him just a bit smaller than before. He opened his eyes again, looking into the darkness and listening to Minhyuk’s breaths over his head.  
„Love you.“, it was out before he could stop it and he hoped Minhyuk wouldn’t hear it, but the breathing faltered just slightly, before it turned back to normal. It was weird to say it. He never really did. Not even to his parents. It also felt good to have someone he could say it to.  
„Now was that so hard?“, was the mumbled reply after a minute, the teasing grin audible. Then a loud thump and a groan could be heard. Because Changkyun smashed Bulbasaur right into Minhyuk’s face.


End file.
